Author’s Note:
Regular readers of www.HappyCapeCod.com may notice the occasional pun is, often sprinkled, albeit unnecessarily, into posts. Puns are good for a cheap laugh, and I’m a firm believer that you can’t have enough humor, lame as the attempts may be.
The story below is intentionally littered with puns, most not original, some forced, but appropriate in context of the fruity topic. See if you can catch them all in this a-peel-ing Cape Cod mystery!
A Banana Peel ‘Caper’ in Sandwich
We can all agree littering is bad. Trash is an eyesore, garbage is often gross and worse, carelessly discarded items can be harmful to wildlife and the environment. That said, tossing the occasional, biodegradable fruit peel on the road can’t be that bad, right? Wrong!
In 2013, a roundabout, the slower, one-lane circular cousin to the larger rotary road enhancement, was installed in South Sandwich to improve safety on a heavily traveled Upper Cape road. Known as one of the most hazardous intersections on Cape Cod, the Cotuit Road/Harlow Road intersection was in line for safety improvements. Yet, according to an article in 2012, the roadway redesign proposal got mixed reviews. One resident called the $900,000 project a “boondoggle.” Another said the roundabout was “barely big enough for her Toyota Camry.” Though a third, perhaps more optimistic neighbor, thought it was “an upgrade” to the harrowing intersection.
Fast forward to 2021. The town of Chatham is nearing completion of a similar roundabout project along busy Route 28, with a familiar bunch of mixed reviews. However, unlike the 2013 Sandwich Roundabout, which was completed ahead of schedule, the Chatham Roundabout project has been marred by delays and is still only now nearing completion despite receiving approval ten years ago.
After the Sandwich Roundabout opened, people started to notice banana peels in the circular center. Evidently, a bunch of banana peels is a more accurate description. In a recent Cape Cod Times article, the Sandwich Public Works Director described the intersection candidly, “I believe you are referring to our illustrious roundabout, aka, the “Fruit Loop,” to some locals, or the “Bane of My Existence “as I prefer to call it!” The director went on to say, “while the first 1,000 banana peels thrown may have been somewhat comical, it has gotten very old and turned into an eyesore.” An una-peel-ing situation, for sure!
A Sandwich Enterprise article provided more details about the frequent drive-by peelings. “On any given day, there may be 10, 12, or more peels littering the circle. Some are yellow in color, signifying their recent disposal into the circular center of the roundabout, and some are brown from rotting. In addition to peels there has been at least one anecdotal report of a spiral ham being tossed onto the traffic circle, as well as sightings of orange peels and apple cores.” As local storyteller and adventurer extraordinaire Eric Williams reflected, “this distressing banana news was hard to digest.”
But why bananas? Was it because it is easy to throw a banana and split? The answer may require a side trip to the Outer Cape.
Bananas have a unique place in Cape Cod history. Lorenzo Dow Baker was born in Wellfleet in 1850, later becoming a sea captain who pursued profits in the tropics. In 1870, he brought a party of gold prospectors to Venezuela. On the return trip, Baker stopped in a Banana Republic (Jamaica location) looking for moneymaking cargo to carry back home. As the story goes, the port master in Port Antonio, Jamaica, suggested an odd-shaped local fruit that was unknown in the United States. That fruit led Baker to found the United Fruit Company, later Chiquita Brands International. Perhaps the banana shenanigans are actually a nod to the impact of the fruit in Cape history.
Theories as to who is behind this monkey business and why abound. The best guess is that an individual who travels through this route daily, eats a banana every day for breakfast while commuting to work. This strict routine results in him, or her, finishing the banana at the exact moment of passage through the roundabout. According to Kristen Long who uses the road to get to work, “There used to be a bucket labeled ‘Bananas’. Though, “No one ever got them in there.”
More comical theories suggest the culprit is the person who gets paid to clean up the bananas. The idea is that it would provide job security. If so, that’s a lot of banana peels! An even more humorous theory references the Adam Sandler movie, “Billy Madison,” saying that the peels must have been left by someone trying to “off” the O’Doyle family. In the movie, that family’s car goes off a cliff after driving over a banana peel left in the road.
Maintaining the peels-as-weapons theme, several people suggested that the roundabout was being used to play real-life games of “Mario Kart,” where players of the video game can chuck banana peels on the race track to slow their opponents. Indeed, it is a slippery situation. Local neighbor Nancy Casale wasn’t buying any of it. She noted, “It’s been going on for a while. It’s stupid.”
The most sinister theory is that the peel chucking began as a way for someone to express frustration with the Sandwich Roundabout project. (This bodes poorly for the Chatham Roundabout project mentioned earlier.) Further, Sandwich Police confirm this issue has been ongoing for years, and that numerous individuals are likely participating. As Eric Williams so accurately pointed out, Cape Codders must unite if there is any chance to “Stop the Peel.”
Last spring, a self-described “semi-public person” (official?) in the Upper Cape community dressed up in a gorilla costume and danced around the Sandwich Roundabout. It was April Fool’s Day and, “I wanted to give people a distraction and something to laugh at,” the gorilla said. “All while making fun of the littering that happens at the rotary.”
So, on this one-year anniversary of the dancing gorilla, let us ride our peel-a-tons to fitness goal glory and dream of a better day, when the only Froot Loop is a colorful cereal box.
For those playing “count the puns,” there were 12. Still crazy for banana content? Check out this commercial from Lexus.